Can We Just Normalize This?


Dear Reader, How was your summer? Are you already feeling the transition to fall? How does that make you feel?

Transitions Can Be Painful

At this age and stage, we are no strangers to transitions—seasons end, jobs end, jobs begin, a divorce, a death, an empty nest, the nest fills again—on and on it goes. Still, it doesn’t make transitions easy or comfortable.

It's a mistake to just move on and say—oh well, this is life. Of course, as a mindfulness guide, I will invite you to face transition with attention and intention. Though honestly, most days of late I want to pull the covers over my head and pretend summer is not ending.

I enjoyed this summer more than the past few. I intentionally savored every moment. Stayed off the internet as much as possible. Hit the beach, with its open sky and seductive brininess. Yet, no matter how I slowed and soaked it in, there’s no stopping the great wheel of time.

Here we are! This week it was back to school at Clark University for me and my Mindful Choices classes. As a life-long student and educator, this was my 53rd first day of school, a notable and universal transition.

We stand between seasons—straddling the lament over what was not accomplished this summer and the stress of what's to come—the long, bright days and evenings that darken early, between cool nights and mid-days that make you strip as if you're having a hot flash in front of your class. We stand between summer's fluid spaciousness and fall’s boxy structure. (I’m facing my calendar right now.)

Summer isn’t quite over, but we feel fall curling inward at the browning edges. The days are changing. Calendars are filling. Welcome to another season.

Growing up in a log cabin with out electricity in the woods of Maine, the transition to the fall was more pronounced. I will always feel the shifting of this time of year at the core of my being.

Psychologically, transition can trigger … let’s just name it! Grief of endings, pressure to perform, anxiety regarding what's up ahead, comparison to the past, and so much more.

Conversely, lest we forget, change can bring excitement and possibility.

So this year, I’m practicing not resisting, not kicking or screaming (as is my usual entrance to fall) and I’m certainly not rushing the transition. I'm proceeding with intention rather than urgency. I’m noticing...simply, noticing with curiosity and non-judgement.

And so I offer you this...if transitions are as challenging for you as they are for me, know that there are tools, opportunities, and support to get guide you through.

But you’ve got to try something, take some sort of action. I know, that is a threshold and a shift in and of itself. I'm here. Let's progress together.

5 Positive Ways to Meet Transition (Paired with My Admissions)

1. Recognize & honor how you're actually feeling.
Excited, nervous, sad, hopeful, overwhelmed—or all of the above. You don't have to feel a certain way just because a change is supposed to be positive and signal growth. (My tendency has been to anticipate the worst and force myself to barrel ahead full speed.)

2. Celebrate HOW FAR you’ve come.
Really sit and write it down. Take a moment to appreciate what you’ve already navigated and accomplished in the last season, or in life in general. The tendency in a transition is to rush ahead. Stop. Celebrate yourself first.

3. Name what you’re excited about.
Give your attention to what you’re looking forward to—not just what you’re leaving behind. (I admit it, I focus on the dying of the light instead of what’s ahead that might be right. Don’t be me.)

4. Try something new and/or create something to look forward to.
Let transition be an invitation to experiment: a new class, club, routine, friendship, place, or hobby. Plan a dinner, adventure, or small celebration. Put something joyful on the calendar. This helps us feel some agency or control in a time of change. I have many novel and joyful experiences on the calendar this fall. (See some below.)

5. Choose one intention for the next chapter or season.
Instead of trying to start anew or reinvent yourself (as is my tendency in the fall) ask: How do I want to show up? How do I want to feel? Choose just 1-3 words or phrases to anchor you in this transition. Write them down and post them where you can see them daily.

My friends, these are practices. And as with any practice, they only work if you actually do them and practice. I’d love to hear from you and hear what you are choosing in this time of transition.

Here's my fall schedule. I'd love it if you would join me in one of these intentional opportunities to create space for yourself in the coming months.

First up, is the first ever YOUR DAY: a 24 Hour Rest & Restore Retreat. I have heard from many who have never visited Barred Owl or taken a retreat for themselves. This is a great introductory opportunity to take a day for yourself with nothing that you have to do. Let me hold you in the sacred space of the Barred Owl.

Our October three-day retreat is full, but there is another opportunity to join us for an overnight retreat on connecting with your intuition, Mind-Body, Intuition: Reconnecting with Self-Trust and Inner Wisdom.

Whether you join me for a retreat, a sound journey, a creative practice, or simply spend a few quiet moments beneath the trees, I hope you'll find space to come home to yourself in this liminal time between seasons.

Here's to a gentle transition. Here's to savoring what's still here. And here's to entering the next season with intention rather than urgency.

With love and gratitude for your presence in this space,

Jess

www.jessicabanerobert.com
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Barred Owl Retreat

Do you want peace and fulfillment in your life? To have the tools and practices for living in alignment with your truest self? Are you looking to come home to yourself and align with the wonders of the world around you? I've been teaching and coaching others for almost two decades to live more awake and engaged lives through mindfulness practices, expressive arts, and self-discovery exercises. Join me on the journey.

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